BREAKING: UCOR Class Full of White Students Solves Racism

SEATTLE UNIVERSITY – An incredible breakthrough was made in a UCOR 1400 class when several white kids sitting in a circle solved the issue of racism in the United States. The classroom, which had almost zero ethnic diversity, erupted in cheering and celebration upon the discovery of the solution. “It’s simple really- we just stop…

Voter’s Rejoice! He Who Walks Behind the Rows has made a Presidential Endorsement!

Every four years, voters across the United States are faced with the question of who should be the next Commander-in-Chief. Often this process takes months, with candidates traveling the nation spreading their message to voters, seeking endorsements from various Unions and Corporations, and influential individuals. In the Midwest however, former governors, senators or organizations all…

Hard Copy: Tips on Updating Your Tinder Profile

Here at Hard Copy, we sincerely care about your relationships. So, we’ve compiled a list of do’s and don’ts that can help you snag that perfect someone for tonight or settle for what is left. We are not reliable for any successes or failures and all comments will be intercepted and interpreted as “Thank you’s.”…

The MET Gala: Jaws Dropped and So Did Our Faith in Humanity

The MET Gala, the highly anticipated annual event that leaves the world awed with its edgy, never-before-seen fashion, soared to new heights this year with its elaborate decorations, array of colorful gowns on exhibition, and incomparable displays of cultural appropriation. This year’s theme was “China: Through the Looking Glass.” To appreciate the beauty and intricacy…

Rick Santorum Comes Out as Human

In a surprise announcement to a private dinner held in Newport Beach, California, former Presidential Candidate and Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum came out as a human being. Pundits immediately pounced on the news, with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews calling it, “a clear appeal to the influential human voting bloc,” and  The O’Reilly Factor’s Bill O’Reilly describing…