Local Satirist Changes Person’s Perspective

Seattle, WA — Local satirical magazine Hard Copy writer Mark Wilson has, in a recent article, changed the way Seattle University student Emma Jefferson thought about an issue. “Oh I’ve never thought about it that way before” said Emma after reading one of Wilson’s articles “I’m really glad satire exists as a way for me…

Father Steve is Actually Escaped Hospice Patient

The discovery that an unqualified teenager was running his own medical clinic has sparked many businesses, public services, and even private industries to reevaluate all staff members to assure that they are in fact the qualified persons everyone thinks they are. It wasn’t until this Wednesday when Tim Leary, the Executive Vice President of Seattle…

Voter’s Rejoice! He Who Walks Behind the Rows has made a Presidential Endorsement!

Every four years, voters across the United States are faced with the question of who should be the next Commander-in-Chief. Often this process takes months, with candidates traveling the nation spreading their message to voters, seeking endorsements from various Unions and Corporations, and influential individuals. In the Midwest however, former governors, senators or organizations all…

Sober Kid Almost Ruins Quadstock

Jeff Hanson was kicked out of Quadstock on Saturday for blatant sobriety. The Sophomore from L.A was obnoxiously not intoxicated for much of the concert, and was making an embarrassment of the event. “It’s really quite irresponsible” said an anonymous Quadstock worker. “We put on this event so everyone can get trashed and listen to…

Body of Christ Found In Value Village

Seattle, WA has become the epicenter of an event that has been described as both a calamity and an unbelievable bargain as the body of Our Lord and Savior has been found in Value Village next to a pair of Mary Jane shoes. At an emotional state of total tranquility, the not-so-proclaimed-but-definitely-fits-the-aesthetic hipster, Janine Frewark…