Liberal Snowflakes at it Again

Seattle, WA- Those damn liberal snowflakes are taking over the city! It didn’t used to be like this, back in the day (last week) Seattle wasn’t afraid of “slipping” up. We were strong. We could walk anywhere and be safe, but now… they’re everywhere. These snowflakes are taking over the streets and shutting down the…

Veganism Hasn’t Decreased Friend’s Dickishness

Fremont, Seattle — Sources close to local asshole and college student Aidan Smith reported that after becoming a vegan, Smith is “just about as much of a dick as before.” “Yea at first when he told us he was going vegan, we were really worried that Aidan would become even more of a dick,” a…

BREAKING: UCOR Class Full of White Students Solves Racism

SEATTLE UNIVERSITY – An incredible breakthrough was made in a UCOR 1400 class when several white kids sitting in a circle solved the issue of racism in the United States. The classroom, which had almost zero ethnic diversity, erupted in cheering and celebration upon the discovery of the solution. “It’s simple really- we just stop…