Father Steve Adds Juggling to LinkedIn Profile

After successfully mastering Facebook (Link: https://hardcopysatire.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/father-sundborg-just-created-a-facebook-account/) Father Steve-Daddy Sunborg decided to spice up his LinkedIn profile. After looking through multiple recruitment requests from the Pope, the Curia, and Gonzaga, Father Sundborg noticed that his profile was missing something. It just didn’t seem like him. “That’s when I decided to add a little fun to my…

“Woke” Roommate’s Alarm Clock Still Going Off

Campion Hall, 7 AM on a Friday — Despite being a so called “woke” person, Sandra Miller’s roommate’s alarm clock continued to go off for nearly 45 minutes, sources confirmed. “She always be inviting me to protests and sit-ins and posting all over Facebook, yet she can’t even wake up when her alarm rings,” complained…

Come Thirsty: Rudy The Redhawk is Lactating!

Cherry Street Market, Seattle WA — That’s right students! Rudy the Redhawk has started lactating again and he will be at C-street until the milk runs dry. Make sure you bring a cup and a strong thirst because boy-oh-boy is Rudy’s milk good! For those new students among us, here are a few pointers and…