Just in: High School Friend SO Different Now

  HOMETOWN, WA – After an arduous first year of college, most of us believed ourselves to be wiser, more mature, and a bit more street savvy. Tiffany, although graduating salutatorian from Matthew McConaughey High School out near Spokane, has now seemed to downgrade from the gem she used to be. Now, her persistent chain-smoking,…

College Party Leaves Some Asking; “Where was the dance floor?”

SEATTLE, WA – Party goers Saturday night were disappointed after spending an entire evening walking house to house finding only casual kickbacks and not raging parties – “Not a single house was throwing out bangers,” noted 25 year old young professional, Tracy LeBanc. The Capitol Hill community is changing rapidly before our eyes. Once filled…

Vegan Not Complete Asshole

Sources from last night’s party reported that local liberal and vegan Matthew Kowalski was, “really not that bad of a guy”. “Honestly, I did not not even know he was a vegan. It just never came up in conversation,” said Dave Richardson as he picked up empty bottles around his house, “he just seemed like…