Report: Seattle Whiter than Ever!

Seattle, WA – It is a well-known fact that Seattle is extremely white. There’s no getting around it. The Emerald City is a misnomer and the snow is only making it worse. With the near foot of snow we’ve received this week, Seattle now becomes the whitest city in America. But let’s be honest, we…

A Record Number of Frostbitten Ankles Reported in Seattle

Student Center – With the onset of Snowpocalypse 2019, Seattle residents took all the necessary precautions to prepare for the winter tundra. Grocery store shelves were cleared, heaters were put on blast, and weed stashes were restocked. The one thing they did not prepare, however, was their ankles. Unfortunately, the two exposed inches of skin…